Flawless
by Qzil
Summary: Pregnancy can ruin you. For Dawn, it has. She weeps for the child she might lose, and weeps for the man she's already lost in so many ways. Ikarishipping, sequel to A Mix of Both, which you don't have to read to get this. Complete.
1. Pills

Geez, I can't let a happy ending happen, can I? -Sigh.- Well, the first chapter sucks, but I promise it'll get better. This won't be as good as A Mix of Both. (No Ikarishipping story I write will ever be.) Still, I think I like where it's going. (I already have the ending figured out.) It's written in a similar style to AMoB, and I think that fans of AMoB will like it.

Anyway, there's a thread about this on my forum for questions/comments/suggestions. Check it out?

Don't own pokemon or any song lyrics that may come into play.

Enjoy my new fic, Flawless.

_-So give me all your poison._

_And give me all your pills-_

_-Thank You for the Venom, My Chemical Romance._

--

Dawn stares at the small stick in her hands, not quite willing to believe what she's seeing.

Pink. That hateful, hateful color is now showing on the strip. The color that indicates she's now pregnant with Paul's child. The one color she's that always hoped would never see on one of these tests.

She slumps against the wall, beginning to tremble as tears blur her vision. Paul's told her before that he doesn't want children. And, quite frankly, she doesn't want them either.

So how had this happened? She always remembers her birth control pill, and they're always extremely careful around her fertile time.

Out of the three years they had traveled together, she can't remember ever missing a pill. Even if she had, Paul would never put her in danger of getting pregnant.

Still, the pill, like all things, has failing rates.

With another short sigh she rises from the wall and wipes her face before walking over to the bed. Their apartment in Sunnyshore overlooked the beach, and she could always see Paul walking home. Smiling slightly when she sees him, she places a protective hand around her stomach.

He walks through the door and her stomach does a flip-flop. With a cold smirk, he sits down on the bed next to her.

"Eager tonight, huh?"

She shakes her head, and his eyes harden.

"Paul, I'm pregnant."

Silence chills the room as his face drops it's always-stony expression. If it was because of anything but this, Dawn would've laughed. In almost an instant, the mask on his face re-forms. Standing up, he walks for the door, pausing in the doorframe.

"Get rid of it or don't bother coming back here."

The door slams as he walks out of their apartment, and she puts her head between her knees and cries. Cries for the child she might lose, and cries for the man who she's already lost in so many ways.


	2. Everything

I have to say, this is one of the better chapters. Honestly, this is written closely to the style of AMoB, and I love that. It was really hard to swing back into that style, which is why the first chapter _failed _so FSM-damned much. Next chapter will be the last.

Thank you, my five reviewers, and thank you to the people who put this on alert but didn't review.

Although you don't have to read AMoB to get this fic, I'd love it if you did.

Anyway, questions/comments/ideas can be dropped off at my forum.

_Qzil._

_-I am every thing you want  
I am every thing you need  
I am every thing inside of you  
that you wish you could be  
I say all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But I mean nothin' to you and I don't know  
Why-_

_--Everything You Want, Vertical Horizon._

--

Head between her knees, Dawn sits on a park bench. She pats her belly, thinking of Paul's baby growing inside there. The thought of a little Paul inside her makes her smile. Paul's reaction to the news wipes it off her face.

She knew he would respond like that, knew he would tell her to get rid of it.

So why didn't she go to the clinic and get it over with?

Could it be she loves the growing piece of Paul inside her? Loves it like she's never truly loved the man she sleeps with?

Love. Such a warped concept in her eyes. Did, no, _could_ her and Paul really love each other? Wasn't love just a series of chemical reactions in the brain? A reaction in the brain to drive her to mate, and, inevitably, to reproduce?

Or is there a deeper feeling, a connection, with him?

Her faith in love, in him, is fading.

But, than again, does she _want _it to fade?

--

"Did you get rid of it yet?"

A question from him. He's always questioning her. Ordering her.

"No."

Defiance is one thing that doesn't happen, unless it's for a bedroom game. A game where, between the two, control means everything.

But hadn't they settled the control issue years ago?

"I thought I told you to."

Thought? He ordered her.

Then, something roars inside her. Instinct, love, devotion, and defiance all in one.

"Well I don't want to."

She knows that with those five words, she has just lost her chance to be with him forever. In a split-second decision fueled by instinct to protect her growing child from the predator that stands before her.

He pauses and looks at her. For a second, she sees a flash of sadness in his cold, stone-hard, eyes. It only takes a second for them to harden again.

"Get out, and don't bother coming back."

She turns around and opens the door, pausing and turning to face him at the doorframe like he did to her last night. For a moment, all is quiet.

"I didn't intend to."


	3. Flawless

It's over! Finally! -Smiles.-

Anyway, anyone who read A Mix of Both will recognize the ending. I just...had to do it, I guess. -Shrug.- As for the gender of the baby, Jordan can be used for both so...your choice. -Shrug.-

Moving on...

Thank you: darkflame414, HarvestGirl10, xSapphirexRosesxFan, Meriah, Kittypride16, and kiara411 for reviewing this fic.

Thank you: Hollywing, HonouxRyuu, camerashy08, esmtz, and everyone above for putting this on alert.

Special thanks to everyone who reviewed A Mix of Both. Without you guys, I never would've done this, or even kept the story on the site.

Most of all, thank you all the dumb ikarishippers who can't seem to keep Paul in-character, because you made me pissed enough to try.

Thank you all,

Qzil.

--

_-There he goes, so perfectly...  
The kind of Flawless I wish I could be.-  
--Teardrops on my Guitar, Taylor Swift._

--

Dawn slid into the front seat of May's convertible near the beach in Sunnyshore, trying hard not to cry. May simply put out her cigarette and sighed.

"Guess I can't smoke 'round you anymore."

"Guess not."

Silence.

"Is Drew okay with me coming to stay with you two?"

"Of course. He's even started to talk kids."

More silence. Silence, almost awkward, and very, very uncomfortable. May begins to drive, leaving the top of her car down and making sure her radio is off. Dawn shifts in her seat, staring at the coastline as her blue hair whips out behind her.

"Dawn-"

"No."

She know what May wants to tell her, knows that May wants to give Paul a chance to see his baby, to be a father. But May doesn't know the real Paul, the one that gives..._gave_, her pleasure through the pain. The Paul that doesn't care for anyone, barely even himself. The Paul that she once loved...the Paul she still may love.

"Don't you even wanna go back and get a picture of him? Maybe some of your stuff?"

Dawn turns to face her, eyes blank, expression neutral. Slowly, she shakes her head.

"No. There's nothing for me there."

She turns away and closes her eyes, trying to keep the tears in. All is quiet, and she can barely hear herself.

"Not anymore."

--

Dawn sighs as she walks through the market in Sunnyshore, looking for a backpack. She smiles, remembering the day she started her Journey, when a good backpack was a necessity. She turns and grabs her child's hand when she sees someone she remembers, sees someone she used to know and love.

He walks up to her and the child, stares at his purple hair streaked through with her blue on the small nine-year-old. Most of all, he stares at the eyes. The eyes that are the same as his, but so different, eyes so full of warmth and hope and light. So unlike his, cold chips of ice.

"Jordan's the name."

He nods slightly, as if giving her approval. He sees the backpack and narrows his eyes, nodding again. For a long time, the two stare at each other as if not wanting to walk away, as if wanting to resume their games and lives together. After what seems like an eternity, Jordan pulls on Dawn's sleeve.

"Mama, we have to get home for dinner. Aunt May said that she'd come over tonight to celebrate my birthday."

Dawn looks down and nods, then looks back at Paul, almost wanting to invite him. But, as she looks up, she sees him walking away, slipping into the crowd as if he was never there.

Turning around and heading for home, Jordan clutching her arm, she thinks about them, about love, and about her child.

Their love is forever, and they are bound together forever by a single human being, a single child that came about through their love.

Perhaps that is _why _she kept her child, as physical proof that she and Paul had once had something like love for one another. Perhaps it's because she knew that while she would love him forever, _they _wouldn't last forever.

Still, it's love. It's still that broken, twisted form of love they had thirteen years ago. A love where, now, they are both in control of themselves. A love, while dead, is stronger than ever. The perfect memory, a love...

Unbreakable.


End file.
